February 19, 2026
With the NFL officially wrapped up, it’s time to turn our attention to the NBA—fresh off the All-Star break and officially entering the “okay, now it matters” season. This is my first time outside my cozy football rankings bubble, so bear with me here, we can all learn together.
The trade deadline’s done. Rotations are tighter. Excuses are thinner. Let’s rank these balls.
At the top? The “Elite Balls.” Somehow—yes somehow—the Detroit Pistons are sitting in the top spot. Just beneath them, the defending champ Oklahoma City Thunder, who are basically counting down the days until everyone’s healthy in May. Then you’ve got the young and fearless Spurs, the overachieving Celtics, and the always-steady Denver Nuggets. No drama. Just buckets.
Next tier: “Big Ballers.” John’s New York Knicks lead the charge—featuring his favorite player, “Jalen Brunson Jalen Brunson.” The Cavs are rolling after grabbing James Harden and winning basically every game since. Then you’ve got the Rockets, Timberwolves, and Raptors—all dangerous, all slightly unpredictable.
Now we hit the “Bouncin’ Balls.” These teams look good in warmups… and then disappear in May. Lakers. Sixers. Suns. Heat. Hornets. Playoff participation trophies incoming.
Below that? The “Flat Balls.” Trying. Competing. Not succeeding. Magic. Clippers. Warriors. Blazers. Hawks. Hope is not a strategy, fellas.
And finally… “Tanking Balls.” If you’re a fan here, you’re scouting draft prospects by halftime. And at the bottom? The Utah Jazz. Recently fined half a million dollars for “integrity of the game” issues. Which is league-speak for: what are we doing here?
You’re better than that Danny Ainge…or are you?